Fathers! Fathers! Fathers!

I was sitting in Court today and saw the craziest thing. A father is paying back child support and continues to be held in contempt. What’s wrong with this you ask? The child is living with the father and has been for TEN years. But because he can’t serve the mother with a motion to modify because she slams the door in his face, he has to keep paying.

There he sat, while the child support enforcement people questioned him about how he can’t pay more child support KNOWING that she’s getting paid for a child that is living with him. And all they said was “well your honor, it’s direct deposit, we don’t know where she is.”

How convenient. They berated him about paying for his work truck and not paying child support, and made no apologies for the fact that they were sending the money to a woman who does not have the child with her. In the meantime, he can go to jail if he doesn’t pay the child support.

Men, please stop assuming you have no choices or rights. You do have rights. I once had someone walk in my office who said he was told to “settle” for every other weekend because that’s all a father could get. He now has his son, for what amounts to half of the year. You have the right to have access to you child. You don’t have to pay child support for a child that lives with you, and you don’t have to accept that all you can do is get every other weekend, unless that’s what you want.

DADS! Children need their fathers. Don’t write me back about men who don’t want their children, I’m not writing about them. But more and more young men are coming into my office wanting to have more access to their children and the mothers won’t “let” them. Men are scared they are going to get arrested if they go pick up the child. As long as you are not making a disturbance or being violent, you cannot get arrested for picking up your child, unless someone has been awarded custody by the court.

Women, please stop using your children as pawns. Ultimately, the truth will come out, and your child will resent you later for keeping their father away from them. Children need both their parents.

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